So what is there to say? Words never hold much sway. Anyway...

I am Benjamin Scott Campbell, and I am thrilled to be a part of this team to Uganda. I am a 22-years-old and Michigan-born. I grew up in a Christian home, and my childhood was as secure as I suppose it could have been in 21st-century United States. I was seen as the "good guy" in my little Christian circle: dorky but likeable, I suppose.

Yet for the sense of security I had in that small town of Hartland in the last growing county of Michigan, my father's small business soon succumbed to the downfall of the auto-industry in 2008. We experienced bankrupty, foreclosed on our house, and my little world was shattered. We were forced to move to Arizona, and I began to isolate myself from the body of Christ and from people in general. Leading up to this jolting transition was a string of personal, social mistakes that further alienated me from the church. I began to withdraw, and all the tension that wound up over years of maintaining the "good, Christian guy" image began to unravel like a wind-up toy wound too tight, nad the mechanism simply gave out unexpectedly.

Over the course of about a year and a half, I regressed physically (I became underweight), emotionally (I loathed the world, but cheifly myself, often deriding or insulting myself in the quiet), and spiritually (I made little effort to spend time in meaningful community with other believers). I became consumed in selfish pursuits, but I soon had all that I thought I wanted and the false sense of security began to set in again. I worked over full time at a decent job, I bought a brand new Kawasaki motorcycle, I had the attention of my lovely girlfriend, and I had food and shelter.

Even so, I hated myself.

It is so easy to say those three words, but I hasten a guess that I am not alone there. I must pause breifly to thank God; without Him I would still be trapped, and only He knows how dark the darkness would have become had I continued to walk the path of selfishness, of hatred, and of pious hypocrisy. There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain, and He will break all of our chains. Thank You, Lord; You have rescued me.

I do not recall what spurred me to do it that day, but I knew in my heart that I was walking a wicked path and on January 19th, 2010, God ripped the syringes of earhtly pleasures from my veins, pounded on my chest and breathed into my lungs renewed life. I was riding on my motorcycle to the coffee shop to write as I always did on Tuesdays (my day off), and I slammed into the side of a car that pulled out unexpectedly.

I was going about 60mph, and when I smashed into the car I flipped over the handlebars and through the air for about 30 feet until I finally collided with the coarse and unforgiving pavement. I rolled like a ragdoll to a stop, shouting out in feiry agony. Yet, for all the pain and pounding I felt all over, namely in my pelvic area, I laid there with the stark realization that my life could have ended in that moment. I was driven to the hospital and only 5 hours later was released. My gear was undamaged: I am using the very laptop that was in my backpack at the time to write this blog. My helmet I kept as a souvenir, but I sold the jacket I wore as it was immaculately preserved. I still wear the gloves and boots I wore. Only the motorcycle and my jeans did not survive, and the jeans were a casualty because the paramedics had to cut them off to get to the wounds.

Now here's the part that makes me shiver every time: just 4 hours before the crash occured that day, I felt a crushing weight on my heart: I knew I did not trust God; I didn't trust Him at all. But I prayed in that moment, emotionally exhausted from the accusations of the accuser, our enemy, and ill of the sins I commited in my flesh. I told God that I didn't trust Him. I told Him I didn't know how, but I wanted Him to literally force me to trust Him. My exact words, "I want You to put my in a position where I have no option, where all I can do is trust You." Apparently, God likes to answer those dangerous prayers, if only we would be so bold as to utter them.

And so my world was shattered again. I sought from there to further my education, and after another number of emotional and financial blows God led me back to Michigan after 3 years of wandering in the valley. I lived in Phoenix, and God brought to mind the mythology of the phoenix who rises from its ashes, not by my own accord, but rather as Adam was raised from the dust so was I. God revealed to me the reality of grace, not just to me, but to all people. God showed me great truth, but I am only beginning to understand the nature of the words, If I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. [I Corinthians 13:2 ESV]

I suppose there is plenty more that I could say, but little more would interesting. I look forward to meeting all of you on our team and hearing your stories.

Oh, and if you're interested, I make videos and upload them to YouTube. There's quite a variety of ordinary:

YouTube.com/TrueProvidence

Benjamin Scott Campbell